My mama!

She came to visit me this week! We went out to dinner, and I stayed at the hotel with her :) I missed her a lot!

This is pretty accurate...

How to write a paper in college/university:


1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee.  Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.

13. Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your email.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

23. Check out bored.com.

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

This cleared some things up for me :)

	If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
	If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
	If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
	If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.
	Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!
	To eliminate smallpox, wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand under a faucet with no sink.
	Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with scary eyes, run away now.
	People, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol are all at risk of being sucked into the time-tunnel vortex.
	Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.
	If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
	If your building collapses, climb under your table and practice yoga postures.
	Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. The current world record is 5 minutes, 12 seconds.
	After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.
	If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that.
	If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.
	Your respiratory and digestive systems are optional. Cast them aside if you feel you no longer need them.
	If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.
	Survive a biohazard attack by first standing, then begging on your knees, then rolling over and playing dead.
	Do not drive a station wagon if a utility pole is protruding from the hood.
	A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.
	No pyromaniacs admitted.
	A quick family snapshot in front of the latest scene of a terrorist attack may became a treasured family keepsake that will preserve precious memories for years to come.
	That closet door in your bedroom leads to the gates of Hell. Don't go there.
	The middle of a terrorist attack is not an appropriate time to catch up on your reading or paperwork.
	If you see colors in the sky, grasp your throat and pretend to choke yourself. Girls go for that.
	If your intended destination is suddenly vaporized, consider pulling over and watching the cool light show.
	If the weather is overcast with dark skies, look for worms in the grass.
	After all life is gone, modern appliances will continue to run forever. Think about it.
	Your telephone may be a practicing physician. Look for a phone with no numbers on it.
	"Wash your hands" of traditional long distance telephone providers.
	Only the coolest irradiated citizens will be allowed into the 'underground' rave in the shelter.
	In case of emergency, the parking brake may be used as an adult novelty item.
	In time of war, real Americans eat red meat only! No wimpy fish or poultry, please.
	There is a reason you failed chemistry.
	Watch out for people who come out of white tents and try to steal the shirt off your back.
	If you are trapped with no hope of being found, amuse yourself in your final moments with shadow puppets.
	Radioactive materials come in 4 convenient sizes:    - individual dose    - family value size    - neighborhood spray pump size    - supersize!
	Satellite photos of Texas show the large embarrassing radioactive crop circle in Southeast Texas.
	When the looting begins remember to consider the weight/value ratio. Here we have a few examples of high value, low effort.

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Yay!

Tomorrow, my boyfriend, CJ, my dad, Chloe, Molly, my dad's sister, Susie, and her husband, Justin are all coming to visit me! We are going out to dinner, and then going to see the Cardinals play some football! Chirp, Chirp! I'm really excited and anxious to show everyone around. here are some pictures :]

This is boyfriend.

This is my dad, Mike, and my sister, Molly.


















This is my aunt, Susie.

I miss my sissys...

This is Chloe :)

And this is Molly :)

Chloe Elizabeth

I would like to take this opportunity to talk about my sister, Chloe.
I actually need to start this story from the very beginning for all of it to make sense. When I was four years old my brother, Isaac, was born premature and died from lack of lung function. My brother, Matthew, died from the same complications when I was six. A few years later my parents decided that they wanted to look into adoption. When I was 12 years old, my dad met a woman whose niece was pregnant. This woman went on to explain that her niece was only 15 and had no means of supporting a child. She asked if my family would be interested in adopting her niece's unborn child.

Chloe was born on July 28, 2004. My entire family was at the hospital with balloons, cards, baby clothes, blankets; you name it. It seemed extra special to my parents and my other sister, Molly, and I because we were able to take Chloe home from the hospital the very next day. She blends in with us so well. She has curly hair and high cheek bones like my mother, and dark hair and blue eyes like my father. People comment all the time on how much she looks like my parents.

Okay, enough history. On to the funny stuff.

This kid is six years old going on 16. She is seriously the smartest child I know. She is smarter than me sometimes (I know that's hard to believe). She is in kindergarten, but can read at a second grade level. She is so witty and catches on to things that most kids in elementary school don't understand. For example:

A few weeks ago my father was trying to get Chloe to clean her playroom. Getting her to complete this task is comparable to pulling teeth. In spite of that fact, my father was encouraging Chloe to clean up.

"Chloe, you are working so hard!" said my father. "I don't want to work hard. I want to rest," replied Chloe.
"Jesus never rests, Chloe. He watches over you all the time." my father explained.

Chloe thought about this for a long time. After a few minutes she looks my father dead in the eye and says, "He wasn't doing anything those three days when he was dead in that cave!"

Now, if you don't think that is hilarious, there is something wrong with you.
A) I laugh every time I think of that story.
B) What kid thinks of a retort like that?! ADULTS can't think of a remark that funny, let alone a six year old.

And the best part is: she talks like this all the time. She is constantly cracking jokes and making witty comments. There is never a dull moment around this kid.

I'll have to post more Chloe stories when I have more time.